Waiting For The Blip

Solitaire App

I have confessed before and I say it again I am hooked on my Solitaire App. My App, has a flaw, in that every time I want a new game I have to wait for an advertisement to load, or an ⊗ to appear so I can blip the ad an move on. The more I play, the more the ads intrigue me, sometimes to the point of distraction.

I know, or at least I think I know, that there are people who go to school who learn how to make  the ads, and all of the tricks of the trade that goes with doing it. They probably  make a decent salary doing it. As time has gone on, watching the ad intros (the hook before the ⊗ appears) I have noticed certian commonalities, and have named and catagorized them.

  1. The “No Shows“. The No Shows are the ones where the ⊗ appears before the ad actually appears. A quick blip on the ⊗, and on you go to the next game, never having seen the ad. I started feeling sorry for these advertisers. Here they have paid their money and not even so much as a name, let alone a product appears. I haven’t felt sorry enough, for them, to wait for their ads to appear, however.
  2. The “Beat the Clocks”. These ads have a count down circle, usually in the upper right hand corner, that counts down the seconds before the ⊗ appears. What I do, is hover my index finger over the circle and pounce on the ⊗ the split second it appears. As I hover, my hand covers the ad so I don’t get the message.
  3. The “Teasers“. The “Teasers” immediately flash pictures of attractive women in attractive clothing for a few sconds before the ⊗ appears. I enjoy the pictures of the attractive women, but I have no desire to purchase, so again I hover over the spot where I am expecting the ⊗ appear and blip immediately, complementing my self on my choice of ⊗ locations if I am correct.
  4. The “Wierdos“. These are the, usually small, ads that appear immediately and have a wierd tic. These are the ads that start out “This is what your insurance company hopes no one ever figures out”. The ‘tics’ vary from flowers on wallpaper moving around, to corners flapping to entice you to go on, to Trump like haircuts flopping around on a particularly ugly woman’s head. I haven’t figured these out yet, but i know they are cheaply produced, and therefore a waste of my time to get involved. I have all the insurance I need anyway.
  5. The “Intrepid Car Companies”. Why would I watch a Car ad, in-between solitaire games when; a. I have no interest in buying a car,  and b. They are shown ad naseum during prime time TV. What are they thinking.
  6. The “Broken Reocrds”. Today I have had one ad, and insurance ad, that shows a cat with a old leather aviators cap, on a vespa, motoring down a country road. It has come back atleast 25 or thirty times just today. Why, if I reject it once, does it keep coming back? They must be hoping that if they really piss me off, I’ll buy whatever it is they are selling.

Absolutely insane. It must work, it is on every day. Who in their right mind, impulse buys a car or insusrance anyway?